No Cars Go

Man, my beer has been in the fridge for two hours and it still isnt cold...but there's only one left...they sell 16ozers here, and they are tasty.

One of the things I pride myself on is my titles. I don't usually have ideas to write a blog as a whole, but then a title comes along and the ideas fly in. Now joel (my dire rival in blog city) has exponentially better writing, but my titles...they bring my readers...all 4 of them. hahaha

I went out sunday cause I wanted some Burger King. So I rode the tram over to Leidsaplein, a very touristy area, but there's a Burger King. I proceeded to eat to worst chicken Tender Crisp in the history of the King. I'm suprised I didn't see him behind the counter hide with a knife, giving me the finger over the mouth "shoosh", then proceeding to murder everyone that had anything to do with my lunch. I got a call that broke up the future diaehrea (*) that was my lunch, telling me to pick her up beer, since I drained her last two the night before. So after my lunch that later would revisit in a most unpleasent manner, I headed to one of the few grocery stores open on Sunday. It's on Sarphatistraat...which is close...ish but a sizeable walk. Beer acquired and I began the hike home. It became immediatly obvious to me that there were hardly any cars on the road...but it was Sunday, go I gave it little thought. Then I came to a major intersection...I saw the apocalypse... Roughly a thousand (no shit maybe more) rollerbladers were following a van with giant speakers mounted to it down the street. I couldnt help but watch...for about a minute and a half, and I walked off...and there were still people rounding the corner, as strong a current as ever. Frightend of ass rape, I escaped, safe. My dad later explained to me that it was no car day in Amsterdam. Explained alittle...but not they gay orgy rollerbladers...

I got my haircut today, which is one of the three times Erin hasn't cut it in two years. It's not bad though...I just had to pay... I felt like sex afterwards and struted the entire way home from Heinkenplein (no shit, name of the straat). I treated myself to a 6 pack of 16oz Grosch, which is more than I can hope to drink without getting bitched at by my dad (the words alcholic and problem come up many times). I came home and continued my vain attempt to make it through FFXII, but I can feel it isn't gonna happen. Then proceed to takemy dog for a walk with a beer in hand, I really love that.

So y'all have been imageless for along time, so I figured I'd give yall alittle more.

First, these are my parents, this picture makes me laugh my ass off, my dad is so pissed for some reason.

Hahaha, I love it. Now for a Kellen few of y'all know, and since I'm nearly positive she doesn't read my blog, it's prom picture time. Now I may have told some of you how I dressed for prom (nothing crazy, but short of 'prom dress appropriate'), but alot of you don't. I didn't rent a tux, I didnt wear a tie, I went to express and bought a shirt and a belt...I borrowed the jacket from my friend. Now here you are, without further build up, here's a prom image (not a group shot, it was too small to see) a great and what I like to think is "classic Kellen" image.
That's all you get, you'll have to beg for more, but anyway, I'm done. Since Kug doesn't read this, he is gay and love the warm embrace of a man.

The sad truth

So I guess it has become that my blog has become less of that, and more of a weekly update. Less fun, laughing, things, and more about my life.



It's sad when the closest I feel to home is when I watch a show about prison in the states.

So it's Saturday night, there are two parties I can hear from my backdoor step. I'm down to my last beers, it's a sad moment. Another sad moment, today was a very illfooted day for me. Might not seem like much to y'all, but it scares me. I've hardly drank at all today, though consuming around 10ish drinks, I havent been drunk, but perhaps I'm feeling longer term affects of booze. To be continued...

Here we go. I've made a couple friends. One is a dutch kid from Belgium...go figure. He is an alright guy, smokes alittle more than I'd like (herb). These dutch kids love stealing, especially bikes. I'm not so down for stealing, you know, cept from frats =P. A girl in my class and I have become friends. She is from Uruguay(*). We became friends along with the dutch guy. She's married and her husband, I've also become friends with.

School nights have become my favorite days of the week, not because of school, but because I see my couple friends. We have gotten to the point where we have started hanging out some outside of school. Nearly every night after class we goto a pub. It's a good walk, cause in Amsterdam Noord pubs are fewer and far between. So, we goto this dutch pub. I say dutch because it's alot of older...alot older butch people that frequent it. You could take any of our ages (19-24) and add them together, and undoubtfully not get anyone in there. The most recent night, Tuesday, we had the great pleasure of watching these 50+ year old dutch people grinding on each other in front of the dart boards...I wont go into great detail, but know it was memorable. This place plays the best music in the world. On any given night we'll hear MC Hammer, Vannila Ice, 50 Cent, and more. They dont just play it, they play it loud, like we're a bunch of criminals and they're trying to supress our horrible actions. I can't hear what the person is talking about unless they YELL it at me. It's cute for awhile and gets real old, but it's our only option. Anyway, the four of us (Erik (dutch kid 19), Sophie (S. American girl 22), her husband Mauro (also from Uruguay) play Fooshball and had a blast.

That night was fairly normal for school night. We hang for a couple hours and beat the night bus home (trams and normal buses stop at 12:30am and differnt buses start that have differnt paths and normal passes like strippen cards dont work on). After that long winded parantheis, Wednsday came along. (I've now moved on from American prisons to the first Chinese Emporer on TV) Erik called me around 8pm telling me he was in Amsterdam. To explain, Amsterdam Noord (where he stays on weekdays) takes alittle hassle to get to the Centruum. So I met him at the very touristy area, the Dam, and decided to show him the Red Light District. Though he is Dutch, he isn't an Amsterdamer, so I know more about this town than him...crazy. After wandering around for an hour or so, coining whores with names like I normally would (ones I called Scandalous Jane, wearing nothing but a couple black straps and some mats of cloth...what I normal would call Ms. Strapkins). We headed back to the Dam, going to a "punk" bar. It was nothing special except the fact that I saw Kurt Cobain there. I have no doubt now that he lives, much like Elvis. He was around mid to late 30's and had a mustache. He also nearly broke the pinball machine in his anger. I'm convienced. So we hung out, smoke three J's and went home...that was alot of herb.

Thurday came. I'd been looking forward to this night since Mauro and Sophie invited us over. (I'm on my last beer now...q_q). I went over armed only with a fifth of bourbon, a liter of water, and liter of coke. It took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to get there. As soon as I got there I immediatly made myself a drink and Mauro showed Erik the beauties of Resident Evil 4 on the Wii. Overcome with joy Mauro and I talked extensivily about it. He asked for me to make him a bourbon and water was well. I obliged. Now Mauro is like my Joel substitute. He was into theater back home and has many crazy stories about it, much like the Rogue. But where Joel's stories consist of peer pressure from Bruce Cambell, Mauro was invited to orgies on a biweekly basis. Differnt strokes. Erik rolled one and we smoked it...of course. The day flew by and Mauro and myself started talking, drinking, and realizing we played the same exact games. He's a huge fan of Final Fanstay, the anime he likes is the same, his "want to play" list is the exact same, and to kick it all...the games he wants most to play on PS2 are the Ace Combat games. All my friends know that is the deal sealer... So we bonded. So class drew closer and Mauro and I went drink for drink having a blast. As we were trading off murdering the other in Mario Kart, I get a call. Class cancelled. Couldnt have been better. He's an audio worker, going to the same school, so he called in. So there went the bourbon...then the 12 beers we had. Erik went home, not wanting to take the night bus, so Mauro and I asked his wife if I could stay,she obliged. We went back, and cleaned off two bottles of sake, doing the same, chatting it up. I turned him onto Monster Hunter, so now I have a companion. I just hope Sophie doesn't feel left out now that her husband and I have bonded. There are some videos they took. The first being my discussion about how I dont feel comfortable doing the very European kiss-on-the-cheek goodbye like Erik can, the other on the porch smoking a J, talking about movie inspiration...

So here we are. No images again cause Samsung is still working on my camera. They'll come. But I miss you guys, and today, I'm missing Greg the most. I was thinking about all the great times we had...and if you read it man, I miss you. Now I miss all of y'all, I just go through phases. I missed the Kug when I first got here, Chase when I wanted to talk about games, Erin when I needed a haircut, Joel when I need to feel like a kid...etc. Anyway, I hope all y'all still read, and I LIVE to hear from y'all, either via comments or facebook. Because without confirmation I feel worthless writing these. So please drop me a line...I NEED TO HEAR FROM MY FRIENDS. and if none of y'all have let Joel hear Mofro yet please send him some or just goto itunes and listen to some. He'll love it

A liver holding a white flag

So I figured I'd bookend my week alone with a blog.

My first two day consisted of watching seasons five and six of Scrubs on youtube, so if you wanna watch scrubs the user "scrubsimovies" has all the seasons. And I got drunk.

Of course, school twice a week. Thursday I spent the afternoon with one of my three friends from school. We hung out while smoking herb and drinking the afternoon away. It was the longest class ever, and it was on the physics of light...

I tested my luck again tonight at the neighborhood pub, and again got three free beers. My favorite bartender, Wonyda, screwed up someone's order and gave me the beers in question. Perhaps it's cause I sit at the bar, by myself, talking exclusivly to the female bartenders, and look pitful. I think that might be my angle. So by popular opinion of my handful of friends here, I think I'm gonna ask her for her number...but I didn't tonight. She's cute and gives me free beer, really I don't need anything else in a woman.

I drank alot this week, alot. Two cases were shined over the course of the week (I drank everyday) not to mention pub consumption. I woke up today at 9am and had a beer, so I decided I'm going to spend this week sober, except for thursdays and saturday nights when Wondya works...=P.

I don't think I have any fun images this week, so q_q about it, however, goto youtube and watch "terry tate office linebacker." I'm sure most of you have seen it, regardless, whenever I'm down, I think about how much the Triple T loves to hurt people, and I feel better. There's four episodes of enormous black man on tiny white people tackling action. Watch it again and have something to look forward to on your saddest moments. I'm gonna go watch one right now to cheer me up...since Im out of beer and I'm not smoking until class again...booyah

A case of beer and six days to myself

Of course, more than that will be drank, it's just a starting point.

Recently, I've been seeing European versions of people from Ruston. I met a Urguaian version of Joel+Andre. He did theater and he favors them alot. Also, today I was at the grocery store buying beer, and an identical copy of Ashley Norton (most of y'all dont know her) but Mediterainian* was in front of me. It was wild.

Not much to say really. I started classes. It takes me about 25mins to get to school and 45mins to get home. Usually, I get home pretty close to 11pm, which is pretty wild, but I dont go in till 7pm. I met three people there, and we went out to the pub Thursday night. It's a Dutch kid that lives in Belguim and an Urugauian couple, whom I really like. I might go out with them tonight, but I dont feel especailly well and I'm trying to break my nocturnal sleep pattern (I've been waking up at 10pm...).

So, as I mentioned, I went to the grocery store today. After a couple times of hauling cases of glass bottles home, I had to find a better way. So I fashioned a dolley out of my mom's grocery cart. All the younger people looked at me like I was a big pussy, but I couldn't care less because I'm getting my drinking on, and they aren't. Older people, however, looked at me with this strange look. A look of accomplishment and joy, giving me a thumbs up with their eyes. It was wild. They stared at me like I was some young beer toting savant.

My mom has this querk. (what's with all my news being about my mom...) Anyway, she gets all this spam from all sorts of people, but a special breed of spam comes from my grandparents. The above is proof of such internet, what appears to be a beaver, chocolate blasphemy. She takes this horrid, horrid spam, and forwards it to my dad out of spite. I guess it's probably not so funny to y'all, cause it's not funny to me right now, but when she does it, I can't stop laughing. It's the most spiteful thing ever.

Sorry this week is pretty dull with not much funny in it...but hey, I cant give you gold every week. I close with one more animal spams.

"I'm a woman, and women get raped"

My mother is slowly going insane. In highschool, I liked to think of her as playfully crazy or a tad wacky, but after living with her again I'm begining to realize that she is on the threshold to full blown insanity. Along with, "I'm a woman, and women get raped," have come a plethera of awesome quotes. The most recent of which came a couple hours ago when she was describing what to get at the grocery store. She said, "In Albert Hejm there's a bakery, that has baked goods." Now there's multiple parts of this I'd like to analyze, first of which being the fact that she fells the need to tell me the function of a bakery. Now either, A: she thinks I've never been to/heard of a bakery, or B: am a complete idiot. The other point was that I've been to this grocery store around 30times, I know there's a bakery, thanks for telling me for the 30th time. So if your mother feels the need to define things to you, might wanna start getting a tad upity.

So if on the top of your concern lists is: What is Kellen about to eat, then your in luck.

If you guessed "Cool American" chips, then your a liar, there's no way you could have known that, even if I'm a damn cool american. I never even ate Doritos till I came here, I just can't resist buying these chips that say "cool american" on them.

I start school tomorow, so I'm a tad uneasy about that. Only three hours of class, then straight to the pub, but...I dunno, man.

So I went out Friday night with the couple I met last time I was here. I met them at their place around...10:15ish. I think it was later than that. Anyway, we sat around and chated there, downing warm Heinkien, and eventually went to a club around midnight. The place was pretty empty, because apparently, nightlife in Amsterdam starts getting busy around 1:30am or 2. I bought them a couple rounds that I owed them and we were having a good time. An attractive dutch girl struck up a conversation with me and we talked till I wanted another beer. When I got back from the bar, not just she was gone, but my friends were too. I saw the girl, who had moved on to the next group of people, but my friends had left (I found out the next day they left entirly for one reason or another). After realizing they weren't there, I began the long journey home. The trams stop running around 11pm I think, and it was 1. I sat waiting for the "night bus" for 30 minutes, and you see some real characters out there at night. Once aboard, my bus seemed to deliberatly skip my stop despite my dedicated pressing of the Stop button. I ended up about five or so long block from my house. Some other girl got off the bus, and I offered to walk with her till we had seperate directions to go. She was german. I went to the pub, where I was the only person there, and talked/drank with the female bartenders till 3am.

The End...I think I might goto the pub right now actually...even if it's raining